


Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul

by Agapostemon



Series: Bite the Sky [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Keith (Voltron) Has BPD, Keith and Shiro are Siblings, Nosy Hunk, Shiro (Voltron) has PTSD, Shiro is bad at food, Trauma, broganes, keith is bad at lying, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10995639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agapostemon/pseuds/Agapostemon
Summary: “So you want me to spy for you,” Keith observes blandly.“Exactly!” Hunk nods, “Oh, and keep an eye out for food stashes. I wanna know where all my ingredients are going.”Keith sighs, “Fine, whatever. I’ll spy for you. But only because he’s my brother and I care about him.”





	Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warnings: Disordered eating/food hoarding, implied past abuse, mature language
> 
> WHEW, I've been struggling to finish writing recently because badbrains, but here you go! A fic! Complete with more of me projecting on the Broganes. (P.s.- If you wanna keep track of me between fics, my Voltron Tumblr is [Agapostemon](https://agapostemon.tumblr.com/). Feel free to come say hi!)
> 
> Title is from [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpmKjJ4YU_c) by The Glitch Mob, by the way.

Hunk is in the middle of a late-night stress baking session when, sure enough, Shiro strolls in with a sheepish look on his face.

“Fancy seeing you here, again,” Hunk chuckles, looking up from his mixing bowl, “Come for some leftovers? You really oughta eat more at dinner. You’re a big guy! You need big portion sizes!”

“Nah,” Shiro shakes his head as he opens up a cabinet to rummage around. After a bit of digging, he pulls out a jar of jam (made from a fragrant fruit they found a few planets ago) and closes the cabinet.

“You want some bread for that?” Hunk asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Nah,” Shiro repeats, then turns on his heel and marches back out of the kitchen.

Hunk frowns after him but doesn’t follow. Clearly Shiro isn’t interested in explaining his late-night kitchen raids and baffling eating habits… so Hunk will just have to work at figuring it out.

\------------

“Come in, dorkbutt,” Keith responds automatically when he hears a knock at his door.

“ _Excuse you?_ ” Hunk gasps indignantly as the door slides open to let him in.

“Oh,” says Keith, swiveling his head to stare at his unexpected visitor, “You’re not Shiro.”

“Well, I would hope not,” Hunk huffs, “If there were two Shiros, we’d have no shelf-stable food left in the kitchen at all!”

“What?” Keith blinks, “What are you talking about?”

“Your brother,” Hunk announces, “Seems to be part chipmunk.”

“What?” Keith repeats, no less confused than he was before.

“Every time I’m up late baking, Shiro comes in and grabs some seemingly-random nonperishable, then slinks off into the night,” Hunk says, finally getting to the point, “Plus, he never eats enough at dinner. Pidge eats more than he does! Ridiculous.”

Keith’s eyes widen as he’s transported back to 6th grade. He had his own room in that foster home, and he rarely left it. He remembers slipping out in the middle of the night, heart beating in his throat as he gathered pudding cups and juice pouches to stash in his sock drawer, hoping no one would bother to count the next day. He remembers filling zip lock bags with chips and hoping the sound wouldn’t wake anyone and blow his cover. He remembers never asking for seconds at dinner, for fear of being told that he doesn’t deserve them. He knows what Shiro’s doing because he’s done it himself. But he can’t share that with Hunk, so instead he stammers defensively, “W-what d’you want _me_ to do about it? I’m not his mom!”

“Investigate,” Hunk says, a devious grin spreading across his face.

“Why?” Keith asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Because,” says Hunk, “I need to know whether I should be insulted or concerned. Is something wrong, or does he just hate my cooking so much that he’d rather eat jam with a spoon than another bite of the lovely dinner I made? He never even touches the leftovers? _Hmph!_ ” The Yellow Paladin crosses his arms and pouts.

Keith already knows the answer to that, but he decides to play along, “Okay. Fine. How do we _investigate_?”

“Easy,” Hunk says smugly, “I just need you to go in and talk to him. He’s more likely to listen to you than the rest of us, since you’re his little bro.”

“So you want me to spy for you,” Keith observes blandly.

“Exactly!” Hunk nods, “Oh, and keep an eye out for food stashes. I wanna know where all my ingredients are going.”

Keith sighs, “Fine, whatever. I’ll spy for you. But only because he’s my brother and I care about him.”

“Thanks, man,” Hunk gives his friend a hearty pat on the back, startling him, “I knew I could count on you.”

“So, is that it? Or is there a reason you’re still hanging around my room?” asks Keith, trying unsuccessfully to hide the half-smile growing on his face.

\------------

“Oh, hey buddy,” says Shiro as Keith invites himself into his room. He has an open-door policy for all the younger paladins, but Keith is the only one who seems to take him up on it. Which is a bit of a relief, if he’s being honest. Keith is familiar in a way the rest of them aren’t.

“Konnichiwa,” greets Keith as the door closes behind him, but he doesn’t come sit on the bed like he usually does. He just stands in the middle of the floor, glancing around and fidgeting nervously.

“Konnichiwa,” Shiro responds, cracking a tentative smile, “You here to learn more Japanese?” During their year apart, Keith lost a lot of the limited Japanese Shiro had taught him, so they’ve taken to reviewing together during their free time on the castle ship. It’s nice. Familiar. But Shiro’s pretty sure that’s not why his brother is here tonight.

“Actually, uh…” Keith continues to fidget, “I wanted to uh… use your bathroom? Y’know, for uh… peeing?”

Shiro raises an eyebrow, “Yeah, go pee.” He’s not sure what his brother is up to, but he’s positive there’s more to it than just borrowing his bathroom. Keith isn’t exactly the world’s best liar.

Sure enough, Keith emerges a couple minutes later with a package of crackers in hand.

Shiro is sure his heartrate doubles the second he recognizes the food, but he forces himself to keep a straight face.

“Is there a reason you’re keeping crackers in your medicine cabinet?” Keith asks.

“Is there a reason you were digging through my medicine cabinet?” Shiro retorts, hoping his brother can’t hear his voice shake.

“Uh…” Keith stammers, “I needed a… thing?

“Uh-huh,” Shiro drawls.

“My point is,” Keith says, recovering his composure, “Why are you pack-ratting food like you’re preparing for the apocalypse? Hunk says you keep sneaking things out of the kitchen. How much food do you have in here?”

Shiro frowns and tries to keep his breathing even. He feels like not enough air is reaching his lungs, but he can’t show signs of weakness. Not even in front of Keith. He’s supposed to be the leader. The big brother.

“Shiro?” Keith asks, worry in his voice.

Crap.

“Sorry,” Shiro says sheepishly, holding a hand out for the crackers, “I’ll put it back.”

“That’s not the point!” Keith exclaims, his voice cracking.

Shiro flinches.

“You think this is about missing food?” Keith squeaks angrily, “What the hell, Shiro? This is about you, not about some freaking missing snacks!”

“I’ll apologize to Hunk the next time I see him,” Shiro says calmly.

“Damnit, Shiro!” Keith shouts, stomping over to his brother’s dresser and ripping open the drawers. He pulls out dried fruit, something resembling granola, and some chocolatey purple powder, then marches over to the bed and dumps his findings beside Shiro, “We’re not pissed about the missing food—we’re worried about you!”

Shiro blinks suspiciously up at his brother, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. Bad habit from living in the dorms. I’ll take it all back to the kitchen.”

“People who are fine don’t do… this,” Keith waves an arm at the pile of food beside his brother, “I lived in the dorms, too, remember? This is…” suddenly he looks very small and frightened.

“This is what, Keith?” Shiro asks.

“This is…” Keith wraps his arms protectively around himself. He looks like he’s about to cry.

“What, Keith?” Shiro repeats calmly.

“Why are you scared of us?!” Keith blurts out, lashing out and smashing the side of his fist against the metal wall.

“What?!” Shiro sputters out, his voice louder and angrier than he meant it to be, “Why would you think that? Why would I be—”

He cuts himself off when he notices his brother shrinking away from him.

Oh.

In all the chaos, he’d almost forgotten that his brother has his own set of trauma to deal with.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” he says, his voice somber as he gets up and wraps his arms around his brother, “None of this is your fault.”

Keith returns the hug and nods wordlessly into Shiro’s shoulder.

“I’m not scared of you,” Shiro continues, reaching up to stroke his little brother’s hair, “I’m not scared of any of you. I just… wanted to protect you. That’s all.”

“By hoarding ingredients in your dresser?” Keith mumbles incredulously. When he puts it that way, it’s almost funny.

“I…” Shiro pauses, “I want you kids to have enough to eat. So I save the leftovers for you. It… sounds silly when I say it out loud.”

“What does that have to do with crackers in your bathroom?” Keith asks, pulling away to look up at his brother. It’s hard to tell whether he’s fretting or teasing.

“I… was hungry,” Shiro responds sheepishly, “and embarrassed, so I just…” he gestures vaguely at the pile of food on his bed. After a moment, he and Keith both dissolve into nervous laughter at the ridiculousness of it all.

Once the laughter dies down, silence falls back over them. They take a seat on Shiro’s bed and Keith leans protectively against his brother, as if his weight against Shiro’s side will somehow keep him safe. Shiro wraps an arm around his shoulders, tugging him close. It’s his job to protect Keith, not the other way around. At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself. He’s becoming less sure of that by the day, and it breaks his heart.

Eventually, Keith breaks the silence, “So, uh… there’s leftover stew in the kitchen. You wanna come grab some with me before bed?”

Shiro takes a deep, watery breath, “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, buddy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember that I write purely for fun and catharsis. My fics are unbeta’d and minimally proofread. They’re not perfect, and that’s okay. If you notice something I could fix or improve, please keep those thoughts to yourself. If I genuinely want critique, I’ll ask a close friend in private. **Surprise critiques are very stressful and discouraging.** Thanks for understanding!


End file.
